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Monday, May 20, 2002 I stand corrected. The only reason that I wasn't the proud owner of an invitation to Lindsey's party on Saturday is that I didn't see her to get one. So at lunch today, me and Jazzymine's plans for the weekend changed! =) However, I was not wrong (I'm never wrong)--I was simply mistaken. So there.
I'm sort of lonely. My best friend's out of town again. And not only is she out-of-town, I didn't get to talk to her before she left. Which really sucks because I had 27 million things I needed to tell her. Actually, really only one thing, but it had the importance of 27 million things put together. Yeah, I'm wierd. So anyway, now I'm stuck with my little "secret" (it's not really though) and all I want to do is tell her! My dear gracious goodness!
Hmmm...in other news, today was my last Monday of school, seeing as someone doesn't have any Monday exams next week! Yay! But that's about all in my world...
Ooooh! One more thing! So I'm a bit crazy, but the season finale (i think it's the season finale anyway) of Gilmore Girls is on tomorrow! If you enjoy sarcastic people or are sarcastic yourself, you must watch, because it's absolutely hilarious! And Jess moves back for Rory! Ok, now I'm gonna stop, because I'm scaring myself too! Saturday, May 18, 2002 You know when you find out things that you're not supposed to know and there's a good reason why you're not supposed to know? Yeah. Fun, isn't it? So yesterday, Jasmine and I were at another girl's house working on our cheese project. We were looking around her room and we saw an invitation hanging on the wall. We looked at it and realized that it was for Lindsey's birthday party. And neither of us had gotten one. The other girl felt really bad that we'd seen it and assured us that the only reason we weren't invited was because Lindsey's parents were only letting her invite a couple people. On the way home, Jasmine and i started talking about it. I don't do much with Lindsey outside of school, so i could understand it. But Jasmine had gone to Lindsey's last year and they're even better friends this year. Then we moved on to talking about Christina's party, which i wasn't invited to. Christina and i are really good friends. We do stuff outside of school all the time. I mean, she came over the other night to get a pair of shorts she'd let me borrow and she ended up staying almost and hour and a half. So when i wasn't invited to her party, i was surprised. But Jasmine told me that everyone else at the party was surprised too. My parents and church friends might be surprised that there's parties that i haven't been to this year. And i can guarantee you that i won't go to as many next year, simply because all my friends turned 16 this year so they're having bigger parties. And i guess i'm not all that hurt about not being invited to Lindsey or Christina's parties. If i'd had a party, i probably wouldn't have invited them either. But i also wouldn't have invited Elyse, who's now one of my best friends. I'm just glad that i'm not "stupid, dumb, girly and flighty" (as said by Rory Gilmore last Tuesday)...in other words, i'm glad that i'm not hurt about not being invited. Surprised a little, yes. But hurt, no. So why am i writing about this. Jasmine and i came to the conclusion that you don't need to be invited to someone's party to be their friend. I know that i'm great friends with both Lindsey and Christina. I don't need an invitation to their parties to know that. Just like i don't need someone to tell me they love me to know that i'm loved. I have a brother who's never once in my memory told me that he loves me, but i know he does. I have a best friend who honestly doesn't like telling me how much i mean to her, but i don't need to hear it from her to know. I have another friend who wouldn't dare tell me how much he cares about me, but i still know he cares. I know that some people need to hear it. But, as cliche as it is, actions really do speak louder than words. There's a girl at school that i don't like all that much and we don't get along all the time. Yet, we still say that we're friends. But we're not. If you call a lamb's tail a leg, it doesn't make it a leg. So i guess what i'm trying to say is, as long as i know i'm loved, i don't need to be told. Wednesday, May 8, 2002 I had some really profound things to say a couple days ago, but I forgot them all. That's what happens when you get Senioritis as a sophomore! ;-)
We got our yearbooks last week (if you have any desire to hear me complain for a really long time, ask me how I feel about this year's yearbook!). And for some reason, I have the most distinct and vivid memories of this time last year. Mike and Win getting ready to graduate and go on their trip. Pouring water on Monica's head. The geometry project with Ben (actually, just the whole thing with Ben in general). Ruth leaving. Hanging out with Anna. But most of all, the time I spent with Taylor in physical science. Gosh, I miss that kid. It kills me that I didn't treasure all those 6th period lab cheating, glass thermometer dropping, stop watch not working, 7-up playing days. I'd kill to have those back now. I haven't seen Taylor in 9 months. I haven't spent any real time with him in nearly a year. And I never said good-bye, mostly because it's against my "policy" (though I did say good-bye to Robby last week). But I don't know that I would have spent those last days any differently. He chose not to tell me about spending the summer in PA until a week before he left. Neither one of us knew then that we'd never really get to see each other again. Gosh, I'm talking like he's dead. I just wish I had last spring back. Or him.
Friday, April 26, 2002 There's really 3 ways to get to my house. You can take the main entrance of my neighborhood. Or you can take the side entrance, which is my street. Or you can go down to Trinity, take a left, then take a right onto my street. I went the third and, by far, longest today. I was a little curious to see what was going on back on those quiet streets, since I hadn't been back there in quite a while. I don't think I was ready for what I saw. Years ago (as in 5 or 6), I would go back there and play with my friend. They were just starting to build a neighborhood. I love construction sites, so I'd always have a blast. Then we'd go through the woods to this huge field. It was awesome. We'd run around there for hours on end. Like I said, it had been a long while since I'd been back there. Not only did they finish the neighborhood, they started a new one. And they tore up all that land. All of it. The woods, the field, the pond, everything. I knew that they were building the new one. I mean, one of my best friends is moving there in a few months. But I hadn't taken a good look at it yet. It was depressing. It's sorta sad to think that my friend's house is going right where the pond used to be. I mean, it's nice, since at least I know who'll live there, but still. They already built apartments in the other field I used to play in (haha, the same friend will be living there too!). It's just depressing. Saturday, April 20, 2002 It's funny how much letters can do to one's spirit. I had a friend move a while ago. And it's not that I don't talk to them. I do. But only when I'm doing other things. So I've been writing them an insanely long letter (it's on like page 8 now). And it's been so great! Every other day or so, or whenever I get the time, I just sit down and write to them. And it's as though I'm spending time with them. It really just brightens my day.
We're getting to the homestretch now (ooh! Time out! Something smells really good!). 33 days 'til I'm done with classes. About 4 ½ weeks. Then just 2 exams. And then I'm done! And then I get my viola! We've gone back to eating lunch outside. I've acquired 4 different tan lines from my elbows up in the past week (t-shirt, jersey, tank top, sports bra). That's not including my shorts tan and shoe tan. But I'm pretty much done with shoes for the next couple months now (YES!). And I get to go swimming tomorrow! How exciting! Now if I could only get a job...
Thursday, April 11, 2002 I went to a math competition (oh yeah, you gotta love being a geek!) today. It was at a certain college campus that i won't name, simply because...well, i just won't. Anyway, me and my buddies got lost. Honestly, it was scary. Well, you see, first of all, the guys purposely got us lost. They knew that we had no clue where we were going. So that didn't help much. But then none of us could figure out how to get back to where we were supposed to be. And, of course, none of knew the name of the building. We ended up on the other side of campus. Someone finally realized that we were little high schoolers (actually, they didn't realize it because of age/maturity, but for a different reason...but i'll leave that alone). And they knew where we were supposed to be. And they told us how to get back. I'll be forever in debt of them. Luckily, none of us won any of the awards (although, i'm sure that our getting lost just demonstrated why we didn't win! Half of us didn't even use a calculator on the test! An algebra 2 test!). But anyway, i'm not sure if it showed the stupidity of the guys, getting us lost or the stupidity of the girls, for listening to the guys. Or maybe both. But either way, i'm definitely taking a map next time i go to a campus that i don't know my way around on! Tuesday, April 2, 2002 The advantage to babysitting bratty kids is that normally, the bratty kids have rich parents, which means they are more likely to pay you well. As in $8 an hour. You can probably tell what I did today! =)
As I was walking home from my job today, I saw one of the little girls who lives across the street. I don't know the family very well. I say hi to their mom when I see her outside (whenever I exit the cave, that is) or at a swim meet or in the grocery store or whatever. But aside from the month or so of swim team, I couldn't tell you either of the little girls names. I think one of them is 10 and the other is 8 or 9. So anyway, as I was walking home, I saw one of the girls in her driveway, jumping rope (or skipping rope, whichever you prefer). It hadn't been the easiest of all babysitting jobs (I swear, they're easier when they can't talk!) and I just wanted to get home and eat. But as the girl turned to me, she gave me the biggest smile. And she was so adorable! I couldn't help but give her a huge grin back. I wanted to give her a hug--but then I remembered that she can't read my mind and she would think it was kind of strange for the girl across the street, who doesn't even know her name, to give her a hug.
Tuesday, April 2, 2002 (of course, it's only 12:19am) A merry April to all and to all a good night.
And i now shut the door as the most exciting and memorable part of my life comes to a close--college basketball. For 11 more months, that is! Only 11 months and 9 days 'ti Selection Sunday '03!!! =) Monday, April 1, 2002 I added a guestbook on here today so that i can get specific feedback on specific posts from you without you having to email me. And i'd much like if you'd respond to this particular post! I'm very interested in hearing everyone's oppinion!
My frinds and i have been arguing about this for days. Is it okay for people to make derogatory comments about their own race? It all started when i told some that i read about a group of Native American college students who named their intramural team the Fighting Whities because a local elemenatry school's mascot was the Reds (or something like that) and the school refused the students request for them to change it. We then started joking around about how we're gonna make our distance team's mascot the Fighting Whities since we're all white and we're all very white. We then started talking about how white people have the tendancy to say that they can't jump or rap or dance because they're white. Obviously, we're not supposed to say that sort of stuff about other races (honestly though, i don't see what's all that wrong with it, but i know enough to know that if i want to survive at school,i can't), but is it ok to say it about our own race? Monday, April 1, 2002 I wish i was good at April Fools jokes. But i'm not. I find it hard to believe that i've been living here for 6 years now. My first day of school in Durham was exactly 6 years ago. I love it here. God's been so good to me these years. It's quite sad that i only have 2 years and 3 months more here (haha, but hey! who's counting?!?). Sunday, March 31, 2002 So my friends have been trying to set me up with this dude. He's not even a guy. He's a dude. Anyway, they eventually realized that i wasn't gonna give in and go with their plan. Don't get me wrong. He's decent. Not bad. For someone else. But not for me. Not my type. If i even have a type. But it occured to me that almost everyone i know thinks i'm insane for not dating. And not even not dating this particular dude, but just in general. And i'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, i guess it's nice that people worry about me or whatever. And i guess it's nice that people want me to be "happy". But being a 16 (going on 16 1/2, mind you!) year old girl and having never been taken out, let alone kissed, is not that strange of a thing. And i don't know why everyone's getting on me about it all of a sudden. I mean, i'm not an idiot. I'm not gonna go out with some random guy (or dude for that matter) just for the heck of saying i went out with him. I have better things to do with my time. I'm not gonna go to prom with the senior who sits next to me in French just because it's prom and he's a senior. Is it just me, or is there something severely wrong with our society when everybody wastes their time going out with people just to say they did, when 3 or 4 years down the road, no one on earth gives a crap. (actually, i think there should be a question mark there, but it would look really retarded, so i'm not gonna put it in). And may i just say that i'm freakin sick of being asked out by stupid jerks who think i'll go out with them just because they're them? (and the question mark is correctly placed this time!). I'm not one of those people who's morally against dating. I'm really not. I have no problem with dating. But until God sends me a guy who's really worth any of my time, i'm not gonna waste it. I have a life and i quite plan on living it. Friday, March 15, 2002 I'm going to another party tonight. I've been going to a lot lately. This is my third in less than 2 months and I have several more coming up. Maybe it's because I finally have friends! ;-) But anyway, I decided to tell you all about them. (and by the way, this would be my friends from school).
*Jamie Carter - I like Jamie a lot, mostly cuz she's super smart (as in tied for #1 in our class of 500 some odd!) but she doesn't come across that way at all. We've honestly been "friends" since the first day we met. She's a runner/soccer player. And she laughs a lot. She's much more of a laugher than a joke teller
*Katem - Kate and I ran cross-country together in 8th grade. That's where the Kateo/Katem thing came from. We also happen to have the same middle name, our birthdays are exactly 6 months apart and her last name is my mom's maiden name! Kate's one of the best distance runners in the state, but she'd never tell you that. She's also super smart and funny. And since she can hold her own against the male left-wingers in our J1 class, she has my respect!
*Lauren - I've known Lauren since middle school. We've haven't always been the greatest of friends, but we let bygones be bygones (or something like that). We really enjoy over-exaggerating jokes and laughing 'til we cry and then laughing some more. Lauren's the gal I write songs with
*Callie (Cowie) - Callie's another friend from middle school. Since 6th grade actually. I don't see very much of her anymore because she's one of the best swimmers in the state, so she's forever at meets and practices. We really haven't grown up much since middle school--we still laugh at the same jokes and giggle over the same guys (did I really just admit to that???)
*Lindsey Hatch - Lindsey is the absolute cutest of all my friends ever! Honest! Everything she does and says is sooooo funny! Plus, she's my ethical accountability partner in J1, since we're the only ones really with decent ethics. Lindsey also runs with me--or rather, we run on the same team. She's always quite a bit ahead of me! =)
*Wendy - Wendy's an interesting chica. She's really smart and works really hard and is a staunch perfectionist. But she can be totally crazy and random too. She loves small thinsgs! She has a very polished look about her. She plays tennis and is a member of every possible club at school (literally!). And she's Chinese.
*Natalie (Natalya, Natasha) - I'll admit that, while sometimes, she's the last person I want to see, Natalie's great. She tells the all-time stupidest jokes ("So there's this girl named Janet...") and has a new senior prank idea everyday ("We could all ride around on tricycles!"). She's my slacker running buddy and loves to talk about middle school, when she was fat and unpopular (her words, not mine!). She's Russian. She's one crazy chick!
*Elyse (Elyse Melyse McDonald Gucci Versace Paparazzi Mrache) - Shizzle my nizzle! <--- that would be Elyse's favorite phrase (if you don't know what that's from, don't ask! If you do, more power to ya!). Elyse is my gymnast friend. My lazy friend. My midget friend (as all my frosh "friends" call her). My "Night at the Roxbury"-loving friend. The list goes on. Basically, she's this super buff and tough 4'9" chick who loves rap, hard rock and punk. But she's not like a skater or whatever. She could go to the Olympics if she wasn't so lazy (my words, not hers!). She dives with me too.
*Jasmine (Jazzymine) - I don't know what to say about her! Her 'rents are rather hippieish. She's from Nebraska. She loves spicy Mexican food. She's the epitome of a jeans-and-t-shirt gal. She likes soccer. We're the dunces of the group. Between the 2 of us, we own 2 pink articles of clothing (my tank top and sweater...if you get my drift!). She hates Plus One, Zoe Girl and Natalie Grant (who can blame her?). Jasmine's been my friend since 6th grade. She once hid behind a tablecloth while reciting a poem in French class. Oh yeah, and we enjoy making French teachers' lives hell!
Friday, March 15, 2002 I have a freshman friend! i'm so excited! haha, a bit of a joke there...but only a bit. i sit in the back of my biology class again. and there's this dude that sits next to me. there's a lot of funny guys in my class, but he is the absolute most hilariousest guy ever! every word that comes out of his mouth is so incredibly funny! i actually sat behind him second grading period, but i was very much preoccupied with other things, so i didn't pay much attention to him. but we've had so much fun this week! and not only in class! he'll come up behind me in the hall and completely whack me in the head with his gym bag and then run away. and i try to trip him everytime i see him. let me tell you, he's definitely my kind of a friend! haha. but i'm just really glad that, even now towards the end of the year, i have someone i can talk to and hang out with in that class. i mean, i have other "friends" in there, from swimming and running at Githens, but they're not really friends. and friends are nice. Sunday, March 10, 2002 My toe is hurt. And i don't know what's wrong with it. It's really quite vexing, to use an Anna term. It's all wrapped up and it looks like a "pig-in-a-blanket". It's kinda cute. But i can't dance. I haven't been doing much dancing lately anyway because i haven't had time. But that's very much different than not being able to. Before, i could if i chose to. But now that i choose to, i can't. And it's vexing!
I want to be Shav. Haha, there was a feature in today's Raleigh paper entitled(oops, i shouldn't use that word...but more on that at some other time) "Being Shav". And i decided that i want to be Shav (for those of you non-fanatical Duke/NCSU/UNC fans, "Shav" is Shavlik Randolph, a highly recruited high school b-ball player who's going to Duke next year). I like Shav. He'll end up being my fave Duke player ever. I just thought that the title "Being Shav" was cool. And Shav is such a cool name! !! Friday, March 1, 2002 I remember saying a few months ago that sleep is overrated. Well, it is. When you get like 8 hours or more a night. I've gotten an average of 5 hours each night this past week. That's not to mention a day trip to Washington DC on Tuesday (that i didn't know about until Monday). Last night, i was determined to watch ER. I definitely fell asleep during the opening credits. The night before, i literally could not stand up i was so tired. What's even more sad is that i only had one day of practice this week.
One of my senior friends told me yesterday that i'll make a great upperclassman. Her reasoning? Because i have just the right amount of poise and that "i'm better than you" attitude. I'm still not sure how i feel about that. I guess it's good that i have "poise" (whatever that's really suppoed to mean). But i'm thinking that the "i'm better than you" attitude isn't a great thing to have. But i don't really see myself that way. I mean, you can ask all the stupid frosh in my biology class that aside from the rigorous frosh-bashing that regularly takes place, i don't think of myself as better than them! Haha, in case you didn't get that, that was a joke. They'll all tell you that i rarely make any comments about their being frosh. In fact, i mostly consider them to be my equals (except for the REALLY stupid ones!). But anyway, i just found that interesting... Saturday, February 23, 2002 I really wish I'd had my camera with me the other morning. Actually, I did. But it was just a dinky disposable camera and I didn't have time to grab it anyway. Driving (ok, so I wasn't the one drivingbut I do still like to pretend that I am cool enough to drive to school) out of the neighborhood, the moon was still quite visible through the trees behind the church. Nothing extremely out of the normal. Except that it was quite foggy that morning (if you've read my "favorite things" column, you'll know that I adore fog). So it was really mysterious and mystic and all that good stuff (I shan't go on an "m" word rampage like I did with "d" words in my last post!). Oh, it was wonderful. It made me gasp. I love it when things make me gasp. And what made it even better is that since it was Thursday (which means my day to choose the music), I was listening to Sandra McCracken. Curse the Flower, I believe. But don't quote me on that. I could be wrong (not that anyone on earth would know if I was wrong!). It's funny though that I longed for a camera at that moment. I've been doing that a lot lately. Maybe it's because I enjoy having reminders of my friends and stuff with me all the time (btw, I've learned in the past week or so that pictures of me in water don't come out well. So don't take them!). But I think that it really goes down to my fear of change (ever notice how I'm panophobic?). If I take pictures, I'm capturing that moment. And even though the moment moves on, I have it there. And...well, I don't know. That thought lost me. Friday, February 15, 2002 (so actually, it's technically Saturday) i have this funny little song that i wrote stuck in my head. it's kinda a bit of a cute country song. the lyrics are from the Laura Ingalls Wilder songbook. it's called "Paddle Your Own Canoe". the part that's stuck in my head--"my wants are few, i care not at all if my debts are paid when due. i drive away strife in the ocean of life when i paddle my own canoe". dude, i so wish that was true! first of all, i have WAY too many wants right now. it's not healthy. my debts? well, i'm not currently in debt, but i do have a car insurance bill coming up and my tank's getting low...i just really need a job! if anybody can help me out in that area, i'll love you forever!!! as far as the whole "driving away strife" thing...not doing so well on that one either. actually, i'm doing about the exact opposite right now. i seem to be pissing everyone off lately (it's funny how it takes months and years to build friendships but only hours and days to tear them apart). honestly--i don't know who i've become lately. i've always been a bit schizophrenic, so i can kinda step back and look at myself and be overly critical and everything without really changing (does that make any sense???). i've become so incredibly paranoid, it's actually quite frightening. i keep thinking that the entire world is out to get me. or maybe just the entire male race (you knew that this was coming, didn't you!). i've traumatized myself and it's gonna take a long time to untraumatize myself (i wonder if i just made up a word???). and what comes along with traumatization? detachment. depression. despair. discontentment. disillusion. and any other negetive "d" words that you can come up with. ok, so i'm kinda joking around. but only kinda. i really have been going through this period where i'm totally putting up a hard shell, except with like 2 or 3 people. and for some reason, i'm trusting these people. and i don't even know why i'm trusting them! sigh...but now that the sun's about to rise (so i exaggerate a bit), i'm gonna head off to bed. hope you don't have the same nightmares about being betrayed and cheated and used that i do! Tuesday, January 22, 2002 I recently found my notebook that i took to camp this summer (yes, somehow, i only took one!!!). Most of it was random attempts at songs but it also had all my notes from the speaker. His name is Bruce Ashford. He's incredible. Honestly, the smartest person i know. So anyway, he has lots of cliche-esque phrases that he uses and i wrote a lot of them down (seriously, it was the only time in my life that i've really and truly taken notes!). So i thought i'd share them with you. A few of them are kinda repetitive, but they're still good. Some of them are also on my AIM profile, but they'll probably be gone soon!
*You will be happiest in life when God is most happiest with you.
*God doesn't beg--He gives an ultimatum.
*The only way to lose salvation is if God sinks.
*When God calls, he often calls you to the impossible and gives a miracle to go along with it.
*When you break God's laws, God's laws break you!
*Worship is the final goal of everything we do.
*Disadvantages do not determine the rest of your life.
*Failure is not final.
*A time of suffering may be the most defining moment of your life.
*Beauty is found in your walk with God.
*Faith is necessary.
*Rebellion is severely punished.
*We come to God by God's word and not our own opinions.
*All of life is touched by God.
*We have a problem--sin.
*Worship is the fuel for everything we do.
*When it's all said and done, it's worship that matters.
* Bitterness turns you into a fake.
Friday, January 11, 2002 Yesterday was a sad day. Not sad as in unhappy, but more like melancholy. It was gorgeous outside. Absolutely beautiful. I'm one of those people who thrives in sunshine. But not yesterday. I found and read some a collection of ramblings from one of my favorite writers. I normally would have been bouncing off the walls in excitement. But not yesterday. I had no homework. Days without homework are GREAT! But not yesterday. I think that most of it was because i had to go to practice. I generally enjoy practice, but lately, I haven't been. Not only have my teammates been acting weird, it's been killing my self-esteem. Word of advice--if you're a teenage girl, don't dive. And especially don't dive with former gymnasts! I have progressively gotten worse. I'm not the type of person to care about much of anything, but it's bothering me. Spending nearly 2 hours trying to do a back dive that I could do almost perfectly 2 months ago doesn't exactly make me feel great. I enjoy diving when I'm not smacking my face on the water. But I don't want to spend 10 hours a week hurting myself. I'll be glad to see States come, so that I can have time for myself again. And maybe that's my problem. I haven't written a song since the end of November. It's not worrying me or making me anxious, it's just odd for me. And I think it's because I'm not giving myself any time to think about my life. I'm emotionally (not to mention physically!) exhausted, because I've been beating myself up over diving everyday.
Today's been a good day. It'll get even better. It's warm again. We threw a surprise party for my best school friend. My classes were all slack. And, of course, it's Friday. But even more importantly, I don't have practice.
Monday, January 7, 2002 Yup, I'm a dork. It's official. I spent a whole week a couple months ago in my room reading Edgar Allen Poe. I love Poe. His stories don't do much for me, but I ADORE his poems. There's one in particular that I love. It's called "Alone".
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were-I have not seen
As others saw-I could not bring
My passions from a common spring-
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow-I could not awaken
My heart to joy to the same tone
And all I lov'd-I lov'd alone
I don't know that I have much else to say aside from that. I feel like that pretty much explains it all. But since I feel like rambling more, I wrote a song a while back called "Restless Spirit". It's pretty cool. Especially since I haven't screwed it up yet with music. But basically, I'm different. And even though I've known that for quite some time, I'm still trying to figure out how to apply that knowledge to my every day life. It's not making me any less different. Quite frankly, it's not helping me at all. And that's what the song's saying. I don't usually include parts of my songs here, but I like the last verse a lot. So here it is:
Well, I'm a restless spirit laying here at midnight, still awake
And all I really wanna do is get a little sleep
But the only think that's on my mind is how I'm still a slave
Cuz I slave to the creation of lyric, verse, and song
And while everyone else admires, all I seem to do is create
And beauty becomes so common place it's sometimes hard to see
So maybe I'm just different and I have things I want to say
But knowing that does nothing for me except keep me awake.
Monday, January 7, 2002 There's something about "perfect" snow. The snow that hasn't been trampled over or dumped upon with snowballs. I feel like if I mess it up, I'll never forgive myself. Why ruin something that's perfect? It's practically a sin. I went outside with some friends the other night at about 1am or so to take pictures. It was great. Everything was perfectly white against the black sky. And snow was still falling. But in order to get where we wanted to take the pictures from, we had to ruin some perfect snow. I cringed every step i took. When we woke up the next morning, it was still snowing. I couldn't see my footprints any longer. There was new, fresh, pure snow on the ground. It was great.
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